Thursday, 3 March 2016

Transfer day

I heard nothing on day 4 or the morning of day 5. So I was nervous but excited heading into my transfer...and also squirmy because I was busily trying to empty the clinic's water cooler to make my bladder full. Apparently my efforts were noticed, because the doctor later told me I did an "excellent" job with my bladder. Who says stuff like that?? IVF is weird.

We joked with the nurses while we waited. I got changed in the bathroom so I could...*ahem* clean myself up a bit... and stare longingly at the toilet. No gown this time, just a wrap skirt which you remove immediately on getting up on the table and drape over yourself for 5 minutes of "modesty".

The embryologist came in and talked about the embryos. Gave us a picture of our fresh transfer one. But I saw a bit of disappointment creeping in behind her fake cheerfulness. It was what she called a "cavitating blastocyst". Google tells me these are more often called "cavitating morulas". Morula. They're supposed to be that on day 4, not day 5. And the others...4 were morulas. Not even cavitating. She said they may not make it to freeze.

She had me sign the paper that had all my embryo information on it. I tried to read it, comprehend it, but I couldn't really read the words. All I could think of was how this was just one chance, maybe my only chance, and not a good one at that. I felt more drugged than I ever did during the retrieval.

Then the wrap skirt drape it is completely removed and there's ultrasound gel on your stomach and then all you can do is think about how you must not pee on the doctor.

First the doctor wondered aloud what my uterus looked like because she couldn't remember. I mentioned that it was retroverted but that was all I knew. Apparently that helped her choose a catheter. 

The doc had a look around my uterus and picked a good spot. Aion said it was like a little cubby or a nook...a place with three 'walls' so it wouldn't be able to escape. Good.  Then she did a 'test run' with the catheter and she said it went perfectly.

They had it all set up with a tv on the wall so you could watch the embryologist zoom in on your embryo and pick it up in the syringe and then it's carefully walked into the room and the doc does the exact same thing as the test run and I was still staring at the tv and the empty dish and forgot to watch on the ultrasound monitor. So the nurse asks me if I saw and I said..."Nope." But they pointed out where it was, which was kinda neat. Meanwhile the lab was checking the syringe and stuff to make sure there was no embryo left inside...which there wasn't, it was all inside me.

Then I got to run and go pee. That was very very good but it took me a while to convince myself to start because I had been trying so hard to NOT pee that I couldn't then just PEE. Bodies are stupid.

They added a new medicine to my regimen: Estrace. It's also a vaginal pill, but really really tiny and blue-green. No applicator. More on that in another post.

And then they sent me on my way, with a brief stop at the chocolate dish at the reception desk, which is my favourite clinic-visiting ritual. (Egg retrieval day they were out of chocolate. How cruel is that? I complained loudly.)

Aion and I had about an hour to kill before my post-transfer acupuncture, so we went to a cafe and I had non-caffeinated tea and a quiche and that was good and everything else wasn't. I was in a deep black fog of doom.

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