Monday, 17 August 2015

Picking the Goods - Our Donor

Picking the donor was the weirdest experience for me. I did not like it at all.

I already wrote here about our initial forays into making our choice.  It got a bit better when I got slightly more used to the process, but only marginally better.

We ended up selecting a few 'must haves' to start. I'm short, so Aion insisted we go for a tall guy. That narrowed things down a bit. Then, to be honest, we just went through them one by one. Using one of our free 24 hour fake email addresses (there's a lot of silly, one-time use gmail accounts out there, 'girlsbuysperm' and degenerating quickly into much more vulgar ones) we opened a LOT of profiles in a bunch of firefox tabs, then when we had enough, flipped through and eliminated obvious 'no's. That left us with a shortlist of maybe 20 or so.

We then printed the short list, whole profile on one page (tiny writing, but we both have decent eyesight). Aion took one colour highlighter and I took another, and we both took turns looking through each profile, highlighting things we found either awesome or concerning. Sometimes we just decided a profile shouldn't be in the shortlist.

From there, we made 'maybe' and 'nope' piles. And then, the hardest task, ranking those that were left.

In the end, for us, it came down to the donor's essay. We figured this profile was the only thing our child would know of his/her genetic heritage until age 18, and perhaps forever. We wanted something that really spoke to the kid. The donor we chose wrote to the kid, rather than about himself. Sure, there was stuff about him too: why he chose to donate, what he had done with his life thus far. But he also addressed the child and offered his tips for the child's future. We thought that was quite special and endearing. He is, of course, also fairly attractive, tall, academically accomplished with some musical talent...all around an amazing sounding guy. And he's going grey a bit early. We have affectionately dubbed him 'Silver fox' and have decided that when his child starts misbehaving we can tell the child about how their fox is showing.

He's also still actively donating, important since we may want a sibling if this process doesn't kill us or exhaust us or bankrupt us first.

So, foxy. Hope you're as advertised.

[Image information: By Zefram (Own work (own photography)) [GFDL (, CC-BY-SA-3.0 ( via Wikimedia Commons]

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